February 17, 2012
A Thankful Attitude
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You may have heard the expression, "Dance like no one is watching, live every day like it's your last, and love like you've never been hurt."
Boy is that hard. Especially the last one. Still we do our best and I think that over time and being with the right person, you can do it. Certainly I hope that everyone finds love in their life, no matter how unusual the circumstances. Just remember that as long as it makes you happy, then go for it.
I have many friends who are battling illness or are out of work. It got me thinking about how I needed to remind myself of all that I'm thankful for. I made a list where I can refer to it in case I forget. First and foremost, if you have your health that is the biggest thing in the world. Everything else follows that one. It doesn't have to be a long list, or one that includes material stuff. In fact, it is almost never mentioned when people look back on their lives. (I try to remember that when I'm in Nordstrom eyeballing the latest fashion whatever and knowing I shouldn't buy it). One of my friends keeps a "feel good today" list handy as well. In this one, she makes note of all the non buying things that make her day: a long workout, walking the dog to the park, taking a bath in candlelight, etc. You get the point. I tried it and found it very helpful.
A lot to think about and appreciate!
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on February 17, 2012 at 3:11 PM
in Life |
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February 12, 2012
Men I Have Loved
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I admire women who have found the love of their life and it stayed that way. The idea of such deep history and devotion appeals to me but didn't work out in my case.
The first love (virgin love) was my college sweetheart. We married at 22, which was what everyone did in the sixties. I couldn't believe my luck. His good looks, athleticism, and smarts were all on my wish list. We would make a good team, I thought. It was his idea to start a family, something I was reluctant to do. I'm so glad he was able to convince me. We muddled our way through five years, I started to grow up, and within a short time realized we were not on the same page. We parted friends and still are to this day.
A second marriage took place in my thirties. We were from similar backgrounds, ambitious, in agreement about my daughter (he had not had children) and her upbringing, we liked the same kinds of activities. We cooked together, traveled some, and enjoyed our life not to mention supporting one another. We were married almost thirty years. Some how along the way our interests became disconnected, and although we still liked each other a lot it wasn't enough for a marriage. We parted friends and remain so.
Enough, I thought. I'll be single, but again I married. Oy. Three times! (my mother said she could go broke on wedding gifts, she kidded I think). Not that my new husband is greater than the other two but rather he is the best for me now. And vice-versa. We're old, seemingly too old to get married again but hey...it's never too late to find someone you enjoy, love and have fun with.
I feel lucky to have had the right guy, for me, at the time and don't regret a thing.
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on February 12, 2012 at 2:35 PM
in Loves (past and present) |
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February 9, 2012
Pay it Backward
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So this all starts with that great movie that made us think and discuss "Pay it Forward." I liked the message and even believe in it. The psychologists and others in the know say that if you give someone a sincere compliment or words of encouragement, the giver gets the same endorphin release that the receiver gets. Interesting. And it makes sense. Have you ever helped someone over a rough time, helped a senior to his car in the grocery store ... and suddenly, you feel better? so, I have and I never understood why.
NOW, my message today is that many people have helped me at various times in my life. I can remember in high school the algebra/trig/etc teacher encouraged and challenged me. Mr. Frick. He was a crusty old guy for sure... but I knew, underneath it all ... he cared. It continued throughout my life that people have been there to support, stimulate, and believe in me. NOW it is payback. In order to keep the positive energy in the universe, I need to repay all those who helped me by extending my knowledge and support where warranted. I have learned some things about writing, I had a career in sales for over thirty years, I have raised a child (now 40...although do they ever really leave us?), am caring for an aging parent. You get where I'm going. No matter who you are, you can help someone in need, just stop and look around. It doesn't matter how much time is spent, only that you offer what you can when you can.
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on February 9, 2012 at 10:07 PM
in Words of Wisdom |
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February 2, 2012
(more) Words of Wisdom ... about children
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Recently I talked with good friend and author extraordinaire, Dorothy Allison, who is also one of the wisest women on the planet. She is pictured here on the left with another adoring fan and me on the right. Anyhow, in our catching up as we do from time to time, I asked how Dorothy's son, Wolf, was doing in his first year of college.
"I sit and watch in wonder. Astonishment, even," she said. "It's just so damn interesting."
"Really?" I said quite shocked. "I remember when my daughter, Robin, started college and I'd go to bed every night and stare at the ceiling. I even took to muttering."
Dorothy laughed. "Tell me more."
"I thought Robin should be president while she still knew everything about everything. It was an awful time. I loved her; I couldn't stand her. There was no logic to what was going on."
"Yep," Dorothy said. "You love them, despair over them, and then, well ... you write a story about them."
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on February 2, 2012 at 7:10 PM
in Words of Wisdom |
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January 28, 2012
What is your favorite thing about travel?
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Maybe it is the idea of being free from work, children, or every day chores. Maybe it is being in a foreign place with the thrill of adventure. Maybe it is not having to cook. Maybe it is having your mate all to yourself.
For me it is just thinking about leaving that is great. I like the planning of outfits, the books I'll take (at least three and figuring out just what is good.....a great bestseller, a challenge and then a slutty one ...you know why), the special nightware I'll take for spice, the thoughts about a jacuzzi tub and usually some kind of better weather than home.
I must admit that I am a crappy traveler, really. If it takes more than 4 hours to get there I don't want to go. thank goodness my husband has been around the world. Me...not so much. London, the Caribbean, and New Zealand. I am the quintessential nontraveler. so, from Phoenix we can go to Cabo San Lucas which is less than 2 hours and it feels like I'm forever away. We go there often. I like the beauty of the place, the people, the spicy food, the great weather. We were just there for the fourth time. We did all our same boring things: slept more than ten hours every night, went for at least a 6 mile hike/walk every day, hung out around the pool, had dinner out and then headed for bed.
Best thing about the trip: back home in less than 2 hours. Now that's a vacation!
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on January 28, 2012 at 11:45 PM
in Vacation |
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January 19, 2012
Untruths in Life
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Okay, maybe they aren't lies, but more about what you learn as you get older. When I was young, there were reasons that my parents said the things they did...more like getting me to act (or react) better.
1) The early bird gets the worm (I think he's tired a lot, though...and this was to make sure we did our farm chores, I'm sure)
2) This is going to hurt me more than you (completely untrue...I was the one getting spanked)
3) Some day your skinny legs will be beautiful (they're still skinny!)
4) Boys will eventually notice your great personality and like it as much as a pretty face (ha)
5) It shows character to be the bigger person (I should be 6'5" by now...I really hated this one)
Maybe you have your own pearls to share...please do. In the meantime, it's good to be grown up!
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on January 19, 2012 at 10:55 AM
in Lies |
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January 15, 2012
Crying is a Strange Thing
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My dad hated, hated tears. He would have loved Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own and his famous line, "There's no crying in baseball!"
I think Dad hated crying because he felt powerless as to what to do. He always tried to reason with me, not sothe me. "Okay, what's this all about?" he'd say as he sat down. "I can't help you unless you quit crying and tell me what happened." Then, he'd go about solving the problem. I got to where if I really wanted to cry to just get it out, I'd hide in my room or run out to the barn (we lived on a farm).
Someone of my generation asked me once if I'd ever seen my dad cry. I answered right away, "Yep, three times. When his dog died, when JFK died, and when he had to sell his beloved Cessna and the new owner flew away with it."
As odd as it seems, I seldom cry myself. Even if it is really sad. Yet, I think I cried four times in the penguin movie, "Happy Feet." go figure. It is almost to the point I can cry easier over something good than something bad. I'm a weird one!
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on January 15, 2012 at 9:54 AM
in Crying |
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January 12, 2012
What defines success?
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We live in a country where one of the measures of a person's success is money: how much did you make in a year? how many widgets did you sell? how expensive is the house you live in or the car you drive? Certainly all of those things could be true. But what about the teacher, the fireman, the nurse, the librarian who always knows just the book you should read, the auto repairman, your pastor or rabbi?
I don't know how we get away from the material world since it's everywhere. It seems to be starting even younger ... looking at my grandchildren. That stuns and scares me at the same time.
At the ripe old age of 66, I am in a new career in one of the most shark infested waters imaginable ... the writing and publishing arena. This is a place where only 20% of all books will break even or make money. Not a good business model. Of the over 3,000 books published every day ( over 1,000,000 in a year) that is a lot of disappointment. Not considering an advance, just the hard costs to bring a new book to market, most say that number is $25,000-35,000. Lots of money. So what does this say about my first book? Would it be considered a success?
In the pure sense of making back lots of dollars comparing my book to NY Times bestsellers or just making more dollars than I spent, no. My original intent was to pay tribute to my mother, who gave me guidance and an example to live by. The book came out when she and Peter were healthy. They enjoyed celebrity. People have embraced the story and sent me their own. All in all, the experience was priceless.
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on January 12, 2012 at 9:02 AM
in Success |
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January 8, 2012
My NOT-THIS-YEAR Resolutions
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Most years I come up with all the things I'm going to do. I start out with a few and before long the list is longer than a ten-year-old's birthday wish list. AND, I seem to fall apart before January is over. So, this year I decided instead of coming up with all the things I'm going to do, why not come up with the things I am NOT going to do. Maybe it will be easier. So....this is my NOT this year resolutions:
1) to complain about the flab under my arms when I wear a tank top...from now on I'll wear longer sleeves...or a sweater
2) nagging my husband to cut his nose hairs...I'll look the other way instead of giving him my blank stare...or I'll wait til he's asleep and sneak up on him with the scissors myself
3) skip a workout and then feel guilty
4) whine about another birthday...I'm still above ground. Plus I don't have to raise another teenager or pay for college
5) gripe about living in a pizza oven four months of the year...c'mon Phoenix is perfect eight months of the year
6) yell when my 92 year old mother can't hear me...I think I'll start carrying a note pad around or learn to honk a horn like Harpo Marx did
7) be surprised when I don't win the lottery
8) sign up for things I know I'll later cancel
9) be afraid to try something just because I might fail
10) ever, ever wish I were someone else....I'm so used to me!
OKAY...that' s it! Can't wait to try it. AND, again, a very Happy New Year to you. NR
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on January 8, 2012 at 8:18 AM
in New Year's Resolutions |
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December 31, 2011
My Every Day Companion
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You might have heard that the life of a writer is the loneliest job in the world. This is true. 99% of the time I sit at my computer staring at words I have just written, half the time deleting the whole thing. No one is there to help. No one except Sophie.
Some time ago she moved from under my desk, to my lap, and from there she decided she wanted to sit on top of the desk where she has a good view of all I write. On occasion she drapes her head over the screen. Sometimes I read out loud to her. Silly, I know. We writers are weird.
I do know this ... she appreciates a good love story. Some time ago she fell in love with a Shar-Pei down the street. Bear. All I had to do is say, "Sophie here comes Bear!" She'd stop dead in her tracks and sit waiting for him. He's been gone two years now and still, if I accidentially mention his name ... she is up at the window...watching and waiting.
Really, I think she'd waiting for me to write another love story. Oh boy.
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Posted by Nancy Rossman
on December 31, 2011 at 3:39 PM
in Interesting Readings and fans |
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